Couples on the rocks – January is a big month for visiting divorce lawyers

Couples therapy can be an intimidating prospect.

The idea of being present in an unfamiliar room with only your partner and a third party may even feel like a path to further conflict, rather than reconnection. However, with the right professional help, couples can move toward a better understanding of their feelings, overcome their issues and reconnect. By starting with the basics, we can begin to demystify the process and breakdown the misconceptions which surround this type of therapy.
By approaching therapy mindfully, we can help reduce the levels of negative energy that a couple in conflict may bring to their initial sessions. Rather than simply allowing each side to have their say and ‘get it off their chest’, sessions may begin with very little talking. The first step is to take control of your breath, becoming more conscious of the air moving in and out of the lungs, taking a few minutes to experience the sensations this brings. As a couple become more aware of their breathing, this awareness can pass into other areas of the body. Gradually, the awareness may spread to the posture, how we’re sitting and what we’re communicating in our body language. This may translate into other feelings too, perhaps tension in the knees or legs, perhaps in the arms or shoulders.
When couples approach therapy mindfully a process of de-escalation begins. Where previously tension carried in the body and breath would translate into a verbal attack on a partner, the mindful approach encourages a separation of these feelings and a better, unclouded understanding of the emotional state. Possessed with a more rational understanding of their emotions the therapy can begin far more effectively, with productive discussions rather than protracted rows focussing on past wrongs.
Couples therapy need not be the elephant in the room. Often all that is needed is a professional to take us out of our regular routine and help us step back, allowing for an unobstructed view of the relationship. By dispersing the cloud of conflict we can begin the process of rebuilding productively and without fear. If you’re interested in knowing more about how couples therapy works and what it can do for you please don’t hesitate to get in touch today.

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